I look better un-naked...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
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Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
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my poor anus
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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