morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
