i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
