They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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