my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
