Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
