not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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