Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Who died my cat blue again?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
