I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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