I got her a Nickelback box set.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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