he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
