He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
