How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
