Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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