The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize