Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
