True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
