He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
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I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
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HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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