Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
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