have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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