we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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