just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
