So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
