What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
