she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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