i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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