Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
