dude i'm inner monologue high
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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