Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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