I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
