Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm always down for nudity.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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