We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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