Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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