Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
