why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
