why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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