Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
