I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
