A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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