Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
