I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
