my vag is so smooth its legendary
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
