I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
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Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
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She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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