Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
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It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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