is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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