would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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