I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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