Plan B is the new Plan A
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
