God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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