I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
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