I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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