Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
