her vagine was all disorganized.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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