I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize