There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
