Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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