Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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