Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
