you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize