open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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