I just made out with a guy for $7.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
