is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
