Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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