my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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