I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Randomize
