Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
