Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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