i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
