I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
