so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
