Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
worst night to have a conscience
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
