can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize