Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
