she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize