so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
